she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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