My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
He called his prostate his "boner button".
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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