Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
