Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Randomize
