the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
