Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
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