that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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