OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
