this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
