We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
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