he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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