He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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