I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Can Purell be used as lube?
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
