she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
