Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
