I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
