i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
