I love black thongs
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
