After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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