I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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