he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
