I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
At least make sure they are 18
Why
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
