The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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