Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize