yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
