do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
