I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I understand Curling. That high.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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