I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
