I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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