guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
