just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
