is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize
