meet me or not, i'm out of control
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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