Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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