Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
