No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
