dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I intend to get homeless drunk
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
