You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
