my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
