So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
