I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
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