idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
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