Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
