i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
