Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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