So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
