it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
