so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
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