I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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