Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
