Swine flu. Run for my life!
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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