I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
