just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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