Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
