I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
