I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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