Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
