Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
