Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
