M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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