i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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