found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
